I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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