You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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