Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
