I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
