I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
