I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
