Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
