The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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