Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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