I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
