i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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