i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
