My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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