I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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