we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
