i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
