Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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