I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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