You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you didnt know i had herpes?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize