Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
