i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
