3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
from now on my penis is your penis
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Randomize
