I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
