Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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