The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize