My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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