i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
