Little spoons don't ask big questions
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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