idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
