Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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