Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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