I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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