I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize