I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize