I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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