I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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