the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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