I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
