I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
