South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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