I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
