so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
