No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
