So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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