I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
