I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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