whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
