So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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