She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
