We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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