this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
