is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
