there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
