You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
