I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
